What if I told you that struggling in meditation means you’re actually doing it right?
You sit down to meditate, hoping for peace and focus.
Within seconds, your mind is off somewhere else—thinking about groceries, replaying an awkward conversation from yesterday, or wondering if you left the stove on.
By the time your session ends, you might be thinking:
I can’t do this.
I must be bad at meditation.
Why can’t I just focus?
Sound familiar?
Here’s the truth: you can’t fail at meditation.
The Real Reason People Quit Meditation
Most people give up on meditation because they think they’re not doing it right.
They assume meditation should feel calm, still, and effortless. But when their mind jumps around like a pinball machine, they think:
“Well, I guess this just isn’t for me.”
That’s the biggest myth about meditation.
If you noticed that your mind was wandering, congratulations—you were actually meditating.
Redefining Success in Meditation
Let’s flip the script on what “success” in meditation actually looks like.
Most people think:
Stillness = success
Wandering thoughts = failure
But in reality, it’s the opposite.
The real work of meditation isn’t sitting perfectly still. It’s noticing when your mind has drifted and gently bringing your attention back.
And here’s the best part: every time you bring your focus back, you’re strengthening your ability to be present.
It’s like learning a new skill—at first, it feels clunky and frustrating. But repetition makes it second nature.
So if your mind wandered 50 times during meditation today, that means you had 50 chances to practice returning to the present moment.
And that’s the practice.
“But My Mind Won’t Stop Wandering!”
Good. That means you’re human.
Even experienced meditators don’t have perfectly clear minds. They just don’t judge themselves when they drift.
Think of your thoughts like background noise in a coffee shop. You’re aware of it, but you don’t have to focus on every sound.
Some days, it’s a quiet hum. Other days, it’s a chaotic blend of voices, clinking cups, and espresso machines whirring.
Your job isn’t to turn off the noise—it’s to let it be there without getting caught up in it.
How to Meditate Without the Pressure of Perfection
Want to actually enjoy meditation instead of stressing about whether you’re doing it “right”? Try this:
1. Let Go of the Idea That You Need to Feel a Certain Way
You don’t need to feel peaceful or clear-headed for meditation to “work.” Some sessions will be smooth, others will be restless. That’s okay.
2. Make Returning Your Only Goal
Instead of trying to keep your focus locked in place, just focus on coming back. That’s the only thing that matters.
3. Meditate for One Breath at a Time
Instead of worrying about how long you should meditate, just focus on one breath. Then another. That’s it.
4. Stop Judging Your Thoughts
Distractions aren’t failures—they’re part of the process. You’re not supposed to stop thinking. You’re just supposed to notice.
Final Thoughts
The next time you sit down to meditate and your mind starts racing, don’t fight it.
Don’t try to force your brain into silence. Don’t assume you’re doing it wrong.
Just - Notice. Return. Repeat.
That’s meditation.
And that’s enough.
Your Next Step
The next time you meditate, notice how many times your mind drifts.
Not to judge yourself. Not to get frustrated. But to see those moments as progress.
Further Reading
The Wisdom of No Escape: And the Path of Loving Kindness, (Kindle), Pema Chödrön
The Wisdom of No Escape: and the Path of Loving-Kindness, Pema Chödrön
Awakening from the Daydream: Reimagining the Buddha's Wheel of Life, David Nichtern