(Disclaimer: This isn’t advice—just reflections on what I’ve learned about my own mind. If you struggle with procrastination, ADHD, or decision-making, I hope this resonates with you in some way.)
The Blank Page and the Pressure to Start
I’ve always struggled with starting.
When I was in college, I felt like a terrible paper writer. It wasn’t that I didn’t understand the material. It wasn’t that I didn’t have thoughts or ideas. But staring at a blank page?
It felt impossible.
The longer I waited, the worse it got. The paper loomed over me like an immovable object, growing heavier as the deadline crept closer. I wouldn’t start until panic mode kicked in, and suddenly, I’d crank out an entire paper in one caffeine-fueled night.
Back then, I thought this was just classic procrastination.
Now, knowing I have ADHD, I see it differently.
That paralysis wasn’t about laziness. It was about executive function and activation energy—the gap between knowingI had to start and actually starting. And mindfulness? It has helped me bridge that gap.
How a Roommate Accidentally Taught Me to Start
One night, I was stuck on a paper for my Japanese literature class. I was supposed to write an analysis on Botchan by Natsume Sōseki, but I had nothing. Just a blank page in a notebook and a dormant pen.
A roommate saw me struggling and picked up the book. He glanced at the title, grabbed my pen, and wrote a random sentence:
This book is about [some ridiculous and completely inaccurate statement].“That’s what it’s about, right?”
Of course, it wasn’t.
“No.”
“Great. Prove me wrong.” or something similar.
And just like that, something clicked.
I suddenly had something to argue against. The paper was no longer blank. My brain locked onto the challenge, and the words started flowing.
I didn’t realize it at the time, but this was the best ADHD-friendly writing strategy I’d ever encountered.
What That Moment Taught Me About Mindfulness & Procrastination
I’ve spent years practicing mindfulness, but looking back, that moment with my roommate was mindfulness in action.
Why? Because it disrupted the avoidance cycle.
Procrastination, for me, wasn’t just not doing the work. It was a storm of mental noise:
“This paper has to be good.”
“I don’t even know where to start.”
“What if I pick the wrong argument?”
All of those thoughts? They kept me frozen.
But when my roommate wrote that ridiculous first sentence, it did something mindfulness teaches us to do:
It interrupted the pattern.
That random, incorrect statement broke me out of overthinking and into doing.
How Mindfulness Helps Me Start (Even When I Don’t Want To)
That night taught me something I now use all the time:
Don’t try to start perfectly. Just start.
If the task feels overwhelming, shrink it down.
If I can’t find an entry point, make one—even if it’s wrong.
Mindfulness helps me notice when I’m stuck in avoidance mode. It gives me space to ask:
“Am I actually incapable of doing this, or am I just overwhelmed?”
And often, the best next step isn’t deep breathing or motivation tricks—it’s just doing something imperfectly.
So now, if I catch myself avoiding a task, I try to replicate what my roommate did:
Write something ridiculous just to have a starting point.
Make a wild guess instead of waiting for certainty.
Break the task into a single, small action.
Instead of aiming for a perfect start, I aim for any start. And that’s usually enough to get moving.
Final Thoughts
For years, I thought procrastination was a flaw I needed to fix.
Now, I see it as a signal—a sign that my brain is struggling to start, not because I’m lazy, but because I need a different approach.
Mindfulness helps me pause and notice the resistance.
Breaking the blank page with anything—even nonsense—gets me unstuck.
Taking small, messy first steps creates momentum.
So the next time I’m staring at a blank screen, overwhelmed by a task I know I need to do, I remind myself:
“Great. Prove me wrong.”
And usually, that’s enough to begin.
Further Reading & Resources
📖 Scattered Minds – Gabor Maté (on ADHD and executive function)
🎧 The Huberman Lab Podcast – Episodes on focus, procrastination, and neurobiology